The experiment
The experiment…September 30, 2005
Single once again, and in the words of Martha Stewart- It's a Good Thing.
So...
Last week I told you a story about Dave, if you don’t remember you can find it HERE if you want to refresh your memory. A couple days ago i get an email from him and in the middle of the letter he writes this:
"As for the last time I slept over, I really wanted to just sleep with
you and see if we could do that without sex. Yes, I wanted to, always.
Just thought it'd be nice to have our relationship not rely on that
every time we're together. So the experiment worked and now we can have sex
again! ...”
SO THE EXPERIMENT WORKED AND NOW WE CAN HAVE SEX AGAIN???????
Who pulls that stuff anymore? Did he really just pull a test on me? How old are we? I seriously haven’t been involved in a random relationship testing since high school! AND HE WAS DUMB ENOUGH TO ADMIT IT TO ME! What a moron.
And thus it began; I sent him this in response:
“Ya, I am put off.
I have a couple of things to say.
I haven’t been put through a test or an "experiment" in a relationship since I was in high school. I would hope that you are mature enough to talk to me about things; instead you had this all on your mind the whole night you were with me and didn’t say anything to me, that isn’t fair. If you had a hint that our relationship was focused too much on sex then you needed to step up to the plate and tell me so, don’t pull a test on me.
So now looking back at that evening I feel like a total jackass. You were putting off a few signals to me that implied you wanted sex- rubbing my back, telling me you were turned on by my picture, and the obvious b*ner in your pants to name a few. I was willing to do whatever you wanted. I was rubbing up on you, asking you to follow through with things while the whole time you knew in your head that you weren’t going to? That really bites. You let me make a fool of myself and I don’t like that feeling at all.
All you had to say was "you know, I really just want to snuggle tonight" and you know what? I would have been completely ok with that!
The fact that you are already making rules for things like our sex lives, after only a couple months of us dating, is frankly a complete turn off. I guess I am more open minded than you are when it comes to sex. I believe that if it feels good and you want to do it, you should. Why would you make rules about that kind of thing? Why would you deny yourself good feelings? And we had the kind of great chemistry that a good relationship needs, why would you put rules around that? It just ruins the chemistry altogether.
That night I felt totally ok with how our relationship was going and the direction it was going in. I felt comfortable with the way we communicated, and the way it was all progressing. Since I got that email from you the other day, now I’m not so sure I trust you like I did.”
Of course he groveled and apologized, and called and I didn’t return his calls. He wanted me to give him another chance, but No one pulls a test on me and gets away with it. I don’t have time for that kind of rubbish. Or the patience to deal with a man child.
One of the main things that bothered me about him was that he didn’t listen to me, and it was apparent after that he hadn’t heard a word I’ve said since day one. And I told him that along with the fact that I thought he lives in his own little world inside his head. I told him I couldn’t deal with his numbness, his insensitivity, and that I didn’t trust him anymore and I can’t be with someone I don’t trust. There is no fixing this. But I ended it in the nicest way I could, saying nice things and that I wanted to still remain friends because I am not opposed to hanging out, he’d be a cool friend.
Then he turned into a complete a**hole. I got another lovely email this morning:
“I'd like to stay friends too but for some reason I think that's just
frosting the situation. You don't trust me and several other problems you
have with me get in the way of that. So, on that note, I guess it's
goodbye. Besides, it was a lack of communication that helped disolve
this But then, you think I don't listen so why not
just email?
I'm not going to go over all your issues. There's just too many and
it's fruitless because it won't resolve anything. We also don't agree on
some. I have my own problems, both inside and out, and don't want to
deal with yours. I need to work through my issues before embarking on
another relationship so it's probably a good thing we'll never see each
other again.
This is a mutual parting of ways. Before reading your email yesterday I
was thinking I don't need this. You just confirmed it. We don't need
each other. Sorry for going through all that fluff and grovelling
earlier. While writing it I was convinced it was already over so after sending
it all it served was to prolong the agony for both of us. Just games we
both played on each other the past two days. It sounds rotten, I know.
Anyway, I really hope you do have a good life and I will go on with
mine. If you actually finished reading this whole thing, I applaud you. At
least you took the time to. Hell, I started skipping over yours and
finally stopped reading because it was worthless to go on. Sorry you spent
so much time on something that went out the window. I haven't deleted
it and may read it soon when I want to spend the time to.
Don't bother replying, we don't know each other and I don't listen
anyway. Yup, I'm an ass. Some inmates think I am too because I follow the
rules, standards and policies at work. But that's completely different.
I don't think you're an inmate. I'm an ass on two different planes. I
am honest when I say take care and have a good life, I don't mean ill
will towards you.”
Jesus, can you say contradictory? There is no one train of thought there...and he is a complete a**hole about the whole thing! It was his stupid butt who caused this in the first place. Moron. I am glad I left before his true personality came out. He really is an ass in true life. Good riddance.
So now he can go back to living like Norman Bates without me. Last time I went over to his house he had set up his bedroom in the guest room, and when I asked him why he said “That’s Mom and Dad’s room”.... um...they live in California.
Now he can go be an immature weirdo on his own
Good luck with your A.D.D ass man. Sorry you are balding at such a young age...and shaving your head doesn’t help.
And finally-
Rachel Green said it first on Friends but I think it is fitting...I wish I had a door to slam in his face.
“Just so you know- it’s not that common,
it doesn’t happen to every guy,
and it is a big deal!”
(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni
Single once again, and in the words of Martha Stewart- It's a Good Thing.
So...
Last week I told you a story about Dave, if you don’t remember you can find it HERE if you want to refresh your memory. A couple days ago i get an email from him and in the middle of the letter he writes this:
"As for the last time I slept over, I really wanted to just sleep with
you and see if we could do that without sex. Yes, I wanted to, always.
Just thought it'd be nice to have our relationship not rely on that
every time we're together. So the experiment worked and now we can have sex
again! ...”
SO THE EXPERIMENT WORKED AND NOW WE CAN HAVE SEX AGAIN???????
Who pulls that stuff anymore? Did he really just pull a test on me? How old are we? I seriously haven’t been involved in a random relationship testing since high school! AND HE WAS DUMB ENOUGH TO ADMIT IT TO ME! What a moron.
And thus it began; I sent him this in response:
“Ya, I am put off.
I have a couple of things to say.
I haven’t been put through a test or an "experiment" in a relationship since I was in high school. I would hope that you are mature enough to talk to me about things; instead you had this all on your mind the whole night you were with me and didn’t say anything to me, that isn’t fair. If you had a hint that our relationship was focused too much on sex then you needed to step up to the plate and tell me so, don’t pull a test on me.
So now looking back at that evening I feel like a total jackass. You were putting off a few signals to me that implied you wanted sex- rubbing my back, telling me you were turned on by my picture, and the obvious b*ner in your pants to name a few. I was willing to do whatever you wanted. I was rubbing up on you, asking you to follow through with things while the whole time you knew in your head that you weren’t going to? That really bites. You let me make a fool of myself and I don’t like that feeling at all.
All you had to say was "you know, I really just want to snuggle tonight" and you know what? I would have been completely ok with that!
The fact that you are already making rules for things like our sex lives, after only a couple months of us dating, is frankly a complete turn off. I guess I am more open minded than you are when it comes to sex. I believe that if it feels good and you want to do it, you should. Why would you make rules about that kind of thing? Why would you deny yourself good feelings? And we had the kind of great chemistry that a good relationship needs, why would you put rules around that? It just ruins the chemistry altogether.
That night I felt totally ok with how our relationship was going and the direction it was going in. I felt comfortable with the way we communicated, and the way it was all progressing. Since I got that email from you the other day, now I’m not so sure I trust you like I did.”
Of course he groveled and apologized, and called and I didn’t return his calls. He wanted me to give him another chance, but No one pulls a test on me and gets away with it. I don’t have time for that kind of rubbish. Or the patience to deal with a man child.
One of the main things that bothered me about him was that he didn’t listen to me, and it was apparent after that he hadn’t heard a word I’ve said since day one. And I told him that along with the fact that I thought he lives in his own little world inside his head. I told him I couldn’t deal with his numbness, his insensitivity, and that I didn’t trust him anymore and I can’t be with someone I don’t trust. There is no fixing this. But I ended it in the nicest way I could, saying nice things and that I wanted to still remain friends because I am not opposed to hanging out, he’d be a cool friend.
Then he turned into a complete a**hole. I got another lovely email this morning:
“I'd like to stay friends too but for some reason I think that's just
frosting the situation. You don't trust me and several other problems you
have with me get in the way of that. So, on that note, I guess it's
goodbye. Besides, it was a lack of communication that helped disolve
this But then, you think I don't listen so why not
just email?
I'm not going to go over all your issues. There's just too many and
it's fruitless because it won't resolve anything. We also don't agree on
some. I have my own problems, both inside and out, and don't want to
deal with yours. I need to work through my issues before embarking on
another relationship so it's probably a good thing we'll never see each
other again.
This is a mutual parting of ways. Before reading your email yesterday I
was thinking I don't need this. You just confirmed it. We don't need
each other. Sorry for going through all that fluff and grovelling
earlier. While writing it I was convinced it was already over so after sending
it all it served was to prolong the agony for both of us. Just games we
both played on each other the past two days. It sounds rotten, I know.
Anyway, I really hope you do have a good life and I will go on with
mine. If you actually finished reading this whole thing, I applaud you. At
least you took the time to. Hell, I started skipping over yours and
finally stopped reading because it was worthless to go on. Sorry you spent
so much time on something that went out the window. I haven't deleted
it and may read it soon when I want to spend the time to.
Don't bother replying, we don't know each other and I don't listen
anyway. Yup, I'm an ass. Some inmates think I am too because I follow the
rules, standards and policies at work. But that's completely different.
I don't think you're an inmate. I'm an ass on two different planes. I
am honest when I say take care and have a good life, I don't mean ill
will towards you.”
Jesus, can you say contradictory? There is no one train of thought there...and he is a complete a**hole about the whole thing! It was his stupid butt who caused this in the first place. Moron. I am glad I left before his true personality came out. He really is an ass in true life. Good riddance.
So now he can go back to living like Norman Bates without me. Last time I went over to his house he had set up his bedroom in the guest room, and when I asked him why he said “That’s Mom and Dad’s room”.... um...they live in California.
Now he can go be an immature weirdo on his own
Good luck with your A.D.D ass man. Sorry you are balding at such a young age...and shaving your head doesn’t help.
And finally-
Rachel Green said it first on Friends but I think it is fitting...I wish I had a door to slam in his face.
“Just so you know- it’s not that common,
it doesn’t happen to every guy,
and it is a big deal!”
(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni
posted by Jenni at
6:55 PM
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