Tuesday, January 17, 2006

The Wasabi Incident

January 17
The Wasabi Incident

Something I’ve learned.
When someone comes to you and says, “smell this, does this smell funny to you?” don’t smell it. For the love of god just don’t do it! Live and learn right? You’d think…and then there’s me.

On New Years Eve, Lummox and I decided it would be a blast to make sushi for dinner! Oh what fun! He has experience with this, since he and his kids have prepared sushi dinners many times. So I took the easy task of browning the dumplings while Lummox balled the rice and cut the fish. We got all the necessary ingredients earlier in the day from whole foods, including wasabi powder. Now, if you are like me- you’ve probably heard of wasabi, but never stopped to think how it is prepared. For those of you who have never tasted wasabi- it is very hot, spicy like nothing I’ve tasted before. I never knew you made wasabi by mixing water with a powder- I just never thought about where it came from! Anyway, one of the last steps before our wonderful dinner was ready was to make the wasabi. I left this in the Lummox’s hands, as I figured he was more experienced in this area as well. He put a spoonful into a glass, added the water and began stirring it into a paste as I watched on.

As it started to mix into a smooth cream, he got a funny look on his face. Then he asked the question… "Hey, does this smell a little weird to you, like horseradish or something?” Now, before I leaned in, I of course did not stop to remember this was a spice and should probably be approached with caution- then I did it.

I leaned in, probably way too close, and took a giant whiff through my nostrils. Instantly, fire shot up my nose into my brain, out my eyes and back down my throat. NERVE GAS. The second after the whiff entered my brain, I lurched upright and covered my eyes- to protect them from popping out you see, and I literally could not breathe because my throat had closed. Probably a survival instinct we never knew we had- saves us from dangerous wasabi fumes reaching vital organs. When my throat opened a second later my mouth filled with saliva and I could not have been sexier as I tried to cough the hot lava out of my head. All this is happening right in front of the Lummox remember.

When I was able to think again, I realized he was probably watching all this, and I ran away from him to the bathroom, choking, flailing and blind. I think I said “oh my god” a few times in there too. Minutes later, when I was finally able to see, I saw myself in the bathroom mirror- mascara monster! Red eyes, black cheeks, flushed skin and scorched nostril hairs- Pretty. (I know this is Karma coming back to kick me in the butt for that time I laughed at him when he slipped and fell in the shower.)

OH! And the kicker? After I went through all that, Lummox went in for a sniff too! All I heard was him cry “dear god!” through the blisters in my ears, and that’s when I knew. He’s a keeper.

Moral of this story? Always make your boyfriend smell first.
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni


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