Its great to be here, except it isn’t there
10/25/2006
Its great to be here, except it isn’t there
Its great to be here, except it isn’t there.
Back from FL…I miss him already. s i g h
He has this way of erasing all of the things I am self conscious about. It’s a huge ego boost to be with him, because I know he truly loves me for who I am and can look past my shortcomings. It’s like looking into a magic mirror or something; miraculously instead of feeling fat and old, when I’m with him I feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. I swear when I left my house I looked in the mirror at myself and thought “dear lord I’m fat, I cant wear this tank top without a shirt over it” and as soon as I got there I SWEAR I lost twenty pounds, my boobs grew a cup size, and I wore that tank top proudly with no cover up! It is miraculous! He was even great when I turned into a huge pimply mess the last couple days of the trip.
So I have a history of breaking out around my mouth once a month, usually they are just small cold sores on my upper lip. I have learned to deal with them over the years, though they are embarrassing most of the time. There is no fix for them in times when you need to. For some reason, (possibly because of the new birth control I’m on) I had the worst breakout I’ve had in years while I was there. Of course, I had to turn into huge freak while I was there trying to be sexy- way to go hormones! Great timing! Its hard to be sexy when your upper lip is swollen twice its size and you have FIVE cold sores around your mouth, very kissable indeed. When I woke up and felt the swelling, I almost wanted to start crying, plop a pillow over my head and stay in bed forever. But he didn’t care…..I think. At least he didn’t show it, which was nice of him. I half expected a look of horror from him when I showed my face that morning, but he was great.
It’s funny dating someone who you already know from a previous relationship. Even though it had been probably 9 years or so between our breakup back then, and when we started seeing each other again, there are a lot of things that haven’t changed about us. Basically the only thing that has changed about us is our age. We are a few years older, a bit wiser, and more worldly but that’s about it. Sometimes I feel like those years never went by; as if I am right back in 1997. It’s been sort of a time warp for me, being with him all over again. I loved him so much back then, and I love him even more now.
Now, the “L” word is an interesting phenomenon in the dating world. You don’t want to say it too early because there is the chance the other person might get scared off. You don’t want to say it too late because the other person might get antsy and lose interest. You have to say it when you feel it, when you really mean it; otherwise it just becomes words without emotion. It has to be just right. For me, I knew I loved him after our first reunion. The second I felt a pang of yearning to be with him again I knew I was falling in love with him again. I have been waiting for so long to hear those words come from someone that I truly loved in the same way. It feels phenomenal.
I had a great trip.
It was fantastic to see him and actually be able to snuggle with him without a bazillion miles between us.
He’s the greatest guy I have ever met.
I am so lucky.
Its great to be here, except it isn’t there
Its great to be here, except it isn’t there.
Back from FL…I miss him already. s i g h
He has this way of erasing all of the things I am self conscious about. It’s a huge ego boost to be with him, because I know he truly loves me for who I am and can look past my shortcomings. It’s like looking into a magic mirror or something; miraculously instead of feeling fat and old, when I’m with him I feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. I swear when I left my house I looked in the mirror at myself and thought “dear lord I’m fat, I cant wear this tank top without a shirt over it” and as soon as I got there I SWEAR I lost twenty pounds, my boobs grew a cup size, and I wore that tank top proudly with no cover up! It is miraculous! He was even great when I turned into a huge pimply mess the last couple days of the trip.
So I have a history of breaking out around my mouth once a month, usually they are just small cold sores on my upper lip. I have learned to deal with them over the years, though they are embarrassing most of the time. There is no fix for them in times when you need to. For some reason, (possibly because of the new birth control I’m on) I had the worst breakout I’ve had in years while I was there. Of course, I had to turn into huge freak while I was there trying to be sexy- way to go hormones! Great timing! Its hard to be sexy when your upper lip is swollen twice its size and you have FIVE cold sores around your mouth, very kissable indeed. When I woke up and felt the swelling, I almost wanted to start crying, plop a pillow over my head and stay in bed forever. But he didn’t care…..I think. At least he didn’t show it, which was nice of him. I half expected a look of horror from him when I showed my face that morning, but he was great.
It’s funny dating someone who you already know from a previous relationship. Even though it had been probably 9 years or so between our breakup back then, and when we started seeing each other again, there are a lot of things that haven’t changed about us. Basically the only thing that has changed about us is our age. We are a few years older, a bit wiser, and more worldly but that’s about it. Sometimes I feel like those years never went by; as if I am right back in 1997. It’s been sort of a time warp for me, being with him all over again. I loved him so much back then, and I love him even more now.
Now, the “L” word is an interesting phenomenon in the dating world. You don’t want to say it too early because there is the chance the other person might get scared off. You don’t want to say it too late because the other person might get antsy and lose interest. You have to say it when you feel it, when you really mean it; otherwise it just becomes words without emotion. It has to be just right. For me, I knew I loved him after our first reunion. The second I felt a pang of yearning to be with him again I knew I was falling in love with him again. I have been waiting for so long to hear those words come from someone that I truly loved in the same way. It feels phenomenal.
I had a great trip.
It was fantastic to see him and actually be able to snuggle with him without a bazillion miles between us.
He’s the greatest guy I have ever met.
I am so lucky.
posted by Jenni at
5:38 PM
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