Talking to the man
Talking to the man…October 26, 2005
Got some bad news last night.
Mom called as I was making dinner. I knew something was wrong because right before she called I went and got my phone from my purse to see if she had called. Just as I put the phone down on the counter next to the oven it rang. Mom and I have this strange connection that way, its like that with Sarah too, must be in the family or something.
Big Daddy is not going to make it this time. I talked to Dad the day before and he had mentioned Big Daddy not being able to swallow any food without choking. Even on his nutrition shakes, he just doesnt have the strength anymore. He has been in a care facility for a few months now, because of a bout with pneumonia that left him too weak to walk anymore. He had been doing well in his physical therapy, but had some setbacks because of his diabetes, and his body is just shutting down because he isnt using his legs like he used to. Adema is a horrible thing, if you stop using a part of your body, it slowly starts to take over and Big Daddys adema is moving upwards from his waist. He cant swallow without choking mostly because his lungs are filling with fluid. I really feel awful for my Dad, the decisions he is going to have to make are horrible and heart wrenching. He is going to have to choose weather or not to put in a feeding tube. I think that Big D wouldnt want it like that. They mentioned moving him to a hospice today. I think these are his last days. I hate it that Dad has to be there to see it happen.
Mom mentioned that last time she talked to Dad on the phone he told her an interesting story. Bid D's physical therapist had come in to see Dad and talked to him for a while. She told him that just the day before while she was excercising Big D, he told her he had already "met with The Man" twice the night before, and each time he told Big Daddy he wasnt ready for him. The second time Big D argued with him, telliing him that it was his time and that he was ready, but "The Man" told him it wasnt his time yet. I think maybe he needed to wait so that my dad could get there to be with him. Big Daddy told my dad another story about a man who came to visit him the day before, a man he used to work with many years ago. Dad said that man has been dead for years and years. But Big Daddy swears he was there visiting him the day before.
Interesting, and exciting at the same time. I am not a firm believer in God, or heaven, but those stories give me a different perspective on things suddenly. I do believe in spirits, I believe that everyone is a basic energy, and after we leave our body when we die, that energy takes on different shapes. That could mean reincarnation into another body or form, or it could mean the energy stays in its pure form and remains a spirit forever. I would like to believe that after we die we go to a different place, an alternate universe if you will, and that could also mean an alternate plane overlapping the one we all live on now. I heard someone say once that on earth we are dead, it is only when our shell dies that we are born into life. Big Daddys meeting with "The Man" makes me wonder though, is there really a higher spirit up there somewhere? Or was that Big D's own personal set of Christian beliefs coming through? I guess I wont know, until it is my turn to meet with "The Man".
I love you Big Daddy.
(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni
Got some bad news last night.
Mom called as I was making dinner. I knew something was wrong because right before she called I went and got my phone from my purse to see if she had called. Just as I put the phone down on the counter next to the oven it rang. Mom and I have this strange connection that way, its like that with Sarah too, must be in the family or something.
Big Daddy is not going to make it this time. I talked to Dad the day before and he had mentioned Big Daddy not being able to swallow any food without choking. Even on his nutrition shakes, he just doesnt have the strength anymore. He has been in a care facility for a few months now, because of a bout with pneumonia that left him too weak to walk anymore. He had been doing well in his physical therapy, but had some setbacks because of his diabetes, and his body is just shutting down because he isnt using his legs like he used to. Adema is a horrible thing, if you stop using a part of your body, it slowly starts to take over and Big Daddys adema is moving upwards from his waist. He cant swallow without choking mostly because his lungs are filling with fluid. I really feel awful for my Dad, the decisions he is going to have to make are horrible and heart wrenching. He is going to have to choose weather or not to put in a feeding tube. I think that Big D wouldnt want it like that. They mentioned moving him to a hospice today. I think these are his last days. I hate it that Dad has to be there to see it happen.
Mom mentioned that last time she talked to Dad on the phone he told her an interesting story. Bid D's physical therapist had come in to see Dad and talked to him for a while. She told him that just the day before while she was excercising Big D, he told her he had already "met with The Man" twice the night before, and each time he told Big Daddy he wasnt ready for him. The second time Big D argued with him, telliing him that it was his time and that he was ready, but "The Man" told him it wasnt his time yet. I think maybe he needed to wait so that my dad could get there to be with him. Big Daddy told my dad another story about a man who came to visit him the day before, a man he used to work with many years ago. Dad said that man has been dead for years and years. But Big Daddy swears he was there visiting him the day before.
Interesting, and exciting at the same time. I am not a firm believer in God, or heaven, but those stories give me a different perspective on things suddenly. I do believe in spirits, I believe that everyone is a basic energy, and after we leave our body when we die, that energy takes on different shapes. That could mean reincarnation into another body or form, or it could mean the energy stays in its pure form and remains a spirit forever. I would like to believe that after we die we go to a different place, an alternate universe if you will, and that could also mean an alternate plane overlapping the one we all live on now. I heard someone say once that on earth we are dead, it is only when our shell dies that we are born into life. Big Daddys meeting with "The Man" makes me wonder though, is there really a higher spirit up there somewhere? Or was that Big D's own personal set of Christian beliefs coming through? I guess I wont know, until it is my turn to meet with "The Man".
I love you Big Daddy.
(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni
posted by Jenni at
6:58 PM
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