no motivation
Its been a roller coaster of a day.
Today was supposed to be day one of my new “get up at 6am and exercise” day. That didn’t happen...big surprise. I am the biggest procrastinator in the world and I love sleep too much to get my lazy butt out of bed at 6am, what were you thinking? I have less motivation than a rug on valium. I was really good last night, I ate well and haven’t had a sip of alcohol for four straight days- which is a huge deal for me. I went to bed after I set out my walkman and walking shoes on top of my sweats, it was all ready for me! But when I woke up in the middle of the night and actually thought about getting up at 6...the alarm jumped ahead an hour and a half magically. I don’t know what happened! Honest! I hate myself when I do that. I get the motivation to do something- tomorrow. Tomorrow it never happens. Ever. Know what got me motivated last night? The live finale of Biggest Loser that’s what. How amazing is it that those people lost so much weight and they are still going! It is great. I want to have their motivation. Although it would be nice to have a personal trainer to drag my arse out of bed, that’s just not going to happen. I have to find the motivation myself. Where do I look? I’m thinking when I get home- I am going to drag out my scrapbooks from college- the one where every picture of me is a skinny one. I’m going to post them all over my house to remind me- THIS is what you could look like again, with just a little exercise and a better diet. I had a great body when I was 22 and Id cut off my big toe to have that figure back again. I got my first goal down though- to stop drinking. I am extremely proud of myself for that one. That should help a lot. I have a beer belly that’s been growing steadily since 1997. Ick. Tomorrow- I shall walk the track. Now its out there- there is pressure on me...I’m gonna do it!
I love being woken up by my dog. It’s the best thing for people who don’t do well in the mornings. Ive never been a morning person, and anyone who has ever tried to wake me up knows that I can be a beotch. But when Cody wakes me up it is the best alarm clock ever. He loves to snuggle...I love to snuggle, it’s a great morning. He normally sleeps on the floor on a big fluffy pillow, but this morning I woke up to the feeling of someone, or something, in the bed behind me. When I rolled over, Cody was on his back, head in-between my pillows, with all four legs up. When He noticed me, his tail began wagging and when he turned his head to look at me his lip flopped open and I couldn’t help but laugh until I cried. It was way too cute. I wish I could print the picture from my memory for you to see, I hope I described it alright. He loved me to rub his face when he first wakes up, even if I’m not awake yet I have found him next to my bed under my hand most mornings, waiting for me to start scratching. That’s when I tell him its okay to jump up and we snuggle for a little while. It’s the best.
When I got to work I checked my emails and I had a few from some new readers. One in particular caught my eye, because she sent two others that were waiting for me in my inbox. Now, normally I get emails from readers that just want to say hi, or comment on a few things, but she wrote me a really nice long email from her heart. It makes me feel so great that people can actually identify with my blog and find things in common with me. I love that feeling, it makes me feel more normal you know? She sent me a Kodak picture album, and shared her life with me and we do have a ton in common including our age! This whole experience has been so amazing to me. Never in a million years would I have imagined that there would be people out there who would want to read my blog every day! It is really inspiring to know people actually do. Id love to hear from any of you out there who actually read every day, since I got a million and a half responses from being featured and then on the msn today page this week. I know of my regulars (you know who you are) but Id love for whoever wants to; comment here on this entry and let me know who you are and if you have a blog to share. I have been trying hard to track back to the sites that have me linked and I know I’ve missed a ton of you, but I’m slowly getting around to thanking you all one by one! So anyway thanks to Nicole and thanks to Jamie for enduring my numerous rambling emails today! I hope that we will remain friends for a long time.
The downer for today is something kind of personal so I won’t write too much about it, because I’m not sure she wants everyone knowing. But my mother went into the hospital today. Had surgery and it turned out to be something completely different than what the doctors told us it was? It really made me mad, because my mother health was at risk. It was definitely an eye opener to me because I am basically a cookie cut of my mother. We are almost exactly the same, and I know with time I will have to deal with the same things she is going through today. It is scary that she is going through this. I’m so glad she has my dad there with her. If I had known it was as serious as it was, I’d have been there too. I’d have given the doctor a piece of my mind at least. I had to take a few breathers today, at work to calm myself so that I wouldn’t burst into tears at my desk. But things are okay now. She is out of surgery and doing well. When she wakes up, dad is supposed to call me.
Whew- if ever I needed a drink its tonight. But I’m not going to. I’m going to make a pot of tea and take a long hot bath. After all, I have an early day tomorrow right? Right!
To be continued....
(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni
Today was supposed to be day one of my new “get up at 6am and exercise” day. That didn’t happen...big surprise. I am the biggest procrastinator in the world and I love sleep too much to get my lazy butt out of bed at 6am, what were you thinking? I have less motivation than a rug on valium. I was really good last night, I ate well and haven’t had a sip of alcohol for four straight days- which is a huge deal for me. I went to bed after I set out my walkman and walking shoes on top of my sweats, it was all ready for me! But when I woke up in the middle of the night and actually thought about getting up at 6...the alarm jumped ahead an hour and a half magically. I don’t know what happened! Honest! I hate myself when I do that. I get the motivation to do something- tomorrow. Tomorrow it never happens. Ever. Know what got me motivated last night? The live finale of Biggest Loser that’s what. How amazing is it that those people lost so much weight and they are still going! It is great. I want to have their motivation. Although it would be nice to have a personal trainer to drag my arse out of bed, that’s just not going to happen. I have to find the motivation myself. Where do I look? I’m thinking when I get home- I am going to drag out my scrapbooks from college- the one where every picture of me is a skinny one. I’m going to post them all over my house to remind me- THIS is what you could look like again, with just a little exercise and a better diet. I had a great body when I was 22 and Id cut off my big toe to have that figure back again. I got my first goal down though- to stop drinking. I am extremely proud of myself for that one. That should help a lot. I have a beer belly that’s been growing steadily since 1997. Ick. Tomorrow- I shall walk the track. Now its out there- there is pressure on me...I’m gonna do it!
I love being woken up by my dog. It’s the best thing for people who don’t do well in the mornings. Ive never been a morning person, and anyone who has ever tried to wake me up knows that I can be a beotch. But when Cody wakes me up it is the best alarm clock ever. He loves to snuggle...I love to snuggle, it’s a great morning. He normally sleeps on the floor on a big fluffy pillow, but this morning I woke up to the feeling of someone, or something, in the bed behind me. When I rolled over, Cody was on his back, head in-between my pillows, with all four legs up. When He noticed me, his tail began wagging and when he turned his head to look at me his lip flopped open and I couldn’t help but laugh until I cried. It was way too cute. I wish I could print the picture from my memory for you to see, I hope I described it alright. He loved me to rub his face when he first wakes up, even if I’m not awake yet I have found him next to my bed under my hand most mornings, waiting for me to start scratching. That’s when I tell him its okay to jump up and we snuggle for a little while. It’s the best.
When I got to work I checked my emails and I had a few from some new readers. One in particular caught my eye, because she sent two others that were waiting for me in my inbox. Now, normally I get emails from readers that just want to say hi, or comment on a few things, but she wrote me a really nice long email from her heart. It makes me feel so great that people can actually identify with my blog and find things in common with me. I love that feeling, it makes me feel more normal you know? She sent me a Kodak picture album, and shared her life with me and we do have a ton in common including our age! This whole experience has been so amazing to me. Never in a million years would I have imagined that there would be people out there who would want to read my blog every day! It is really inspiring to know people actually do. Id love to hear from any of you out there who actually read every day, since I got a million and a half responses from being featured and then on the msn today page this week. I know of my regulars (you know who you are) but Id love for whoever wants to; comment here on this entry and let me know who you are and if you have a blog to share. I have been trying hard to track back to the sites that have me linked and I know I’ve missed a ton of you, but I’m slowly getting around to thanking you all one by one! So anyway thanks to Nicole and thanks to Jamie for enduring my numerous rambling emails today! I hope that we will remain friends for a long time.
The downer for today is something kind of personal so I won’t write too much about it, because I’m not sure she wants everyone knowing. But my mother went into the hospital today. Had surgery and it turned out to be something completely different than what the doctors told us it was? It really made me mad, because my mother health was at risk. It was definitely an eye opener to me because I am basically a cookie cut of my mother. We are almost exactly the same, and I know with time I will have to deal with the same things she is going through today. It is scary that she is going through this. I’m so glad she has my dad there with her. If I had known it was as serious as it was, I’d have been there too. I’d have given the doctor a piece of my mind at least. I had to take a few breathers today, at work to calm myself so that I wouldn’t burst into tears at my desk. But things are okay now. She is out of surgery and doing well. When she wakes up, dad is supposed to call me.
Whew- if ever I needed a drink its tonight. But I’m not going to. I’m going to make a pot of tea and take a long hot bath. After all, I have an early day tomorrow right? Right!
To be continued....
(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni
posted by Jenni at
7:04 PM
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