Monday, March 06, 2006

Just Like Heaven

March 06
Just Like Heaven

Back then we would sit in our separate areas in the office, and IM each other throughout the day. Most days we were both miserable in our separate relationships, we were good for each other in comforting ways and it would take the sting out of the misery I was in. He would always tell me I was his sunshine. Sometimes he would add that I was the center of his universe even though his girlfriend probably should have been. I liked that.

Let’s run away- I would say
That sounds good- he would reply
Where shall we go? - Id ask
Lets get married, k? he would add
Then we should go to Vegas- Id say
K...you are my sunshine, did you know this? - He would ask

I did know that, and I loved it. I loved talking to him, reality seemed to slip away for those few hours in our day, and all seemed right in the world- An escape.
Back then I would have never imagined we would actually be together one day, especially after the hell I put him through. In the back of my mind I knew I was taking him for granted, but I couldn’t see past my own denial, and the bad relationship I was in. We were both miserable, in our own lives and relationships. We shared some very intimate moments for a brief time one summer, but I wouldn’t let him get too close. I knew he loved me and we both knew we were right for each other; I just wouldn’t let it happen. I was so selfish. I left him alone when he needed me. For a long time I kept him at arms length. I wanted him to love me- only me, and I knew he always would- Even though I wasn’t giving anything in return. I know I hurt him in a lot of ways, he would still tell me I was the center of his universe after it all though. Turns out I was the one making his life miserable.

I have stopped asking myself why I did that to him or how he could possibly still love me after all that I put him through. I just know that I love him for it. He never brings it up in a bad way, he just waited for me. He is my rock. I can’t imagine not having him in my life. I can’t imagine how I could never see that he was the only one for me. I can’t imagine not spending the rest of my life with him. I love feeling like this... it’s just like heaven.
Let’s run away, ok?.......
(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

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