PMS Monster
March 09
PMS Monster
Jenni has PMS today and she is scary
I am now a week away from my evil monthly visitor and I think that I may kill someone today. I can feel the fury welling up in my veins. Why do I feel like clenching my fists until my nails stick into my palms? I feel like gritting my teeth and clenching my fists, and screaming at the top of my lungs until I have no air left. Punching holes in the wall sounds like fun!
Everyone I have come in contact today has pissed me off to no end. Someone came in to ask me to order more toner for their printer. I suddenly had flashes of an alternate reality-I jump up and smash the fax machine over his head- and then calmly return to work as his stupid lifeless body bleeds all over the floor in my office. Flash back to reality- he is still standing in front of my desk- oh are you still here, sure Ill order your printer cartridge you friggin lazy bastard- oh sorry did I say that out loud?
The temp that I liked so much last week is incessantly talking my ear off and I have stopped paying attention. I just nod my head and push out a word here and there, but I have no clue what she is dribbling about now. For the love of god just stop talking! Leave me alone your stories are mind-numbing and your squeaky voice is piercing my brain. My ears are going to start bleeding soon. I just want silence.
Why are people so annoying?
Don’t they know that I am having PMS?
Don’t they know the world revolves around me?
They should be kissing my ass today, mainly so that I won’t sneak up on them on their lunch breaks and strangle them with their phone cords. Speaking of phones, how come I am the only one who answers the effing phone in this place? Does no one else have the capability of moving their arms to pick up the goddamn thing but me? Apparently not! Gah!
My boobs are so swollen I’m pretty sure they may explode by the end of the day. I have become hypersensitive to sounds; wait what’s that? I think I can hear Timmy calling for Lassie with his dog whistle. I am so bloated today that my stomach hangs over the stupid low rise jeans I am wearing when I sit down- Attractive. I’m sure this is what they were picturing when they designed these jeans. (What a stupid idea low rise jeans are- unless you are Kate Moss you have a tummy pooch and these jeans just accentuate it.) I have a fever blister the size of Texas on my bottom lip so I started talking like that guy from Fat Albert. If I do end up killing someone by the end of the day, it may be from fright.
Dear god, please kill me now.
(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni
PMS Monster
Jenni has PMS today and she is scary
I am now a week away from my evil monthly visitor and I think that I may kill someone today. I can feel the fury welling up in my veins. Why do I feel like clenching my fists until my nails stick into my palms? I feel like gritting my teeth and clenching my fists, and screaming at the top of my lungs until I have no air left. Punching holes in the wall sounds like fun!
Everyone I have come in contact today has pissed me off to no end. Someone came in to ask me to order more toner for their printer. I suddenly had flashes of an alternate reality-I jump up and smash the fax machine over his head- and then calmly return to work as his stupid lifeless body bleeds all over the floor in my office. Flash back to reality- he is still standing in front of my desk- oh are you still here, sure Ill order your printer cartridge you friggin lazy bastard- oh sorry did I say that out loud?
The temp that I liked so much last week is incessantly talking my ear off and I have stopped paying attention. I just nod my head and push out a word here and there, but I have no clue what she is dribbling about now. For the love of god just stop talking! Leave me alone your stories are mind-numbing and your squeaky voice is piercing my brain. My ears are going to start bleeding soon. I just want silence.
Why are people so annoying?
Don’t they know that I am having PMS?
Don’t they know the world revolves around me?
They should be kissing my ass today, mainly so that I won’t sneak up on them on their lunch breaks and strangle them with their phone cords. Speaking of phones, how come I am the only one who answers the effing phone in this place? Does no one else have the capability of moving their arms to pick up the goddamn thing but me? Apparently not! Gah!
My boobs are so swollen I’m pretty sure they may explode by the end of the day. I have become hypersensitive to sounds; wait what’s that? I think I can hear Timmy calling for Lassie with his dog whistle. I am so bloated today that my stomach hangs over the stupid low rise jeans I am wearing when I sit down- Attractive. I’m sure this is what they were picturing when they designed these jeans. (What a stupid idea low rise jeans are- unless you are Kate Moss you have a tummy pooch and these jeans just accentuate it.) I have a fever blister the size of Texas on my bottom lip so I started talking like that guy from Fat Albert. If I do end up killing someone by the end of the day, it may be from fright.
Dear god, please kill me now.
(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home