My secrets out
6/25/2006
My secrets out
I am going to die. And then I’m going to kill my dog.
On any normal weekend Cody is in need of a lot of attention, he’s an attention hog of a dog. So when I’m not giving him full attention he will find ways to force me to pay attention to him. His thing is going into my bedroom, grabbing the hair band I took out the night before, or a sock, or underwear and running to me wherever I am to make sure I notice. Fine, it’s his thing and I have never been able to break him of this, and secretly its kind of a fun game we play. He puts it on my lap or at my feet and when he sees that I have noticed he grabs it before I can get it, runs downstairs and waits for me to come after him. He likes making me chase him, its fine most times I’m able to get whatever it is away from him before he runs outside with it. On a couple of occasions I have found my undies in the yard…must have been a day when I didn’t feel like playing the chasing game. Today was one of the days I didn’t feel like playing the chasing game, and I’m paying for it in pure embarrassment.
Normally he only blackmails me into the chase with one of three items; socks, undies or hair bands. Today he chose something new…
how should I put this?
*Ahem* he chose my…
massager…
my battery operated boyfriend…my…
Alright Ill just say it- he got my vibrator!!!
I don’t know how he got it, honestly I don’t remember leaving it out, but I must have forgotten to put it away…anyway he got it and I had no idea.
I had been cleaning around the house and he dropped something at my feet that I just assumed was one of his rubber toys and I dismissed it because I was busy. He even barked at me a couple times and I never raised my eyes to see what he had for me!!!
Oh my god and there’s more…
He took it outside.
He took my vibrator into the yard!
A few minutes had passed since the barking incident and now he was outside barking at something. I stuck my head out the sliding glass door to see what it was, and noticed Cody at the edge of the fence, and a couple of kids with their mom walking on the sidewalk on the other side of the fence. I shooshed him because I thought he was barking at them. He wasn’t. And the kids stopped to look.
When Cody stopped barking to look back at me, I could hear something sort of humming, something sort of buzzing against the fence where he was. It sounded like a toy airplane that you wind up or something. I wondered if one of the kids on the other side of the fence had maybe dropped a toy or something and it rolled under into my yard so I walked over to it. It wasn’t a toy airplane, but it was a toy, my toy! It must have come on while he was tossing it around in the yard. The worst part about it, I could see those kids and that mother through the slats in my fence, and I saw the look on her face before she rushed them off down the sidewalk…away from the vibrator in my yard.
Oh god, I think they were walking home from church.
I’m so mortified!
I tried to get to it as fast as I could before she saw, honest! But it took me a minute to comprehend what it was that was buzzing against the fence in my yard!
Oh god, I’m going to hell.
-Jenni
My secrets out
I am going to die. And then I’m going to kill my dog.
On any normal weekend Cody is in need of a lot of attention, he’s an attention hog of a dog. So when I’m not giving him full attention he will find ways to force me to pay attention to him. His thing is going into my bedroom, grabbing the hair band I took out the night before, or a sock, or underwear and running to me wherever I am to make sure I notice. Fine, it’s his thing and I have never been able to break him of this, and secretly its kind of a fun game we play. He puts it on my lap or at my feet and when he sees that I have noticed he grabs it before I can get it, runs downstairs and waits for me to come after him. He likes making me chase him, its fine most times I’m able to get whatever it is away from him before he runs outside with it. On a couple of occasions I have found my undies in the yard…must have been a day when I didn’t feel like playing the chasing game. Today was one of the days I didn’t feel like playing the chasing game, and I’m paying for it in pure embarrassment.
Normally he only blackmails me into the chase with one of three items; socks, undies or hair bands. Today he chose something new…
how should I put this?
*Ahem* he chose my…
massager…
my battery operated boyfriend…my…
Alright Ill just say it- he got my vibrator!!!
I don’t know how he got it, honestly I don’t remember leaving it out, but I must have forgotten to put it away…anyway he got it and I had no idea.
I had been cleaning around the house and he dropped something at my feet that I just assumed was one of his rubber toys and I dismissed it because I was busy. He even barked at me a couple times and I never raised my eyes to see what he had for me!!!
Oh my god and there’s more…
He took it outside.
He took my vibrator into the yard!
A few minutes had passed since the barking incident and now he was outside barking at something. I stuck my head out the sliding glass door to see what it was, and noticed Cody at the edge of the fence, and a couple of kids with their mom walking on the sidewalk on the other side of the fence. I shooshed him because I thought he was barking at them. He wasn’t. And the kids stopped to look.
When Cody stopped barking to look back at me, I could hear something sort of humming, something sort of buzzing against the fence where he was. It sounded like a toy airplane that you wind up or something. I wondered if one of the kids on the other side of the fence had maybe dropped a toy or something and it rolled under into my yard so I walked over to it. It wasn’t a toy airplane, but it was a toy, my toy! It must have come on while he was tossing it around in the yard. The worst part about it, I could see those kids and that mother through the slats in my fence, and I saw the look on her face before she rushed them off down the sidewalk…away from the vibrator in my yard.
Oh god, I think they were walking home from church.
I’m so mortified!
I tried to get to it as fast as I could before she saw, honest! But it took me a minute to comprehend what it was that was buzzing against the fence in my yard!
Oh god, I’m going to hell.
-Jenni
posted by Jenni at
8:25 PM
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