Monday, June 19, 2006

The Waiting Game

The Waiting Game

We all love Drama...

I don’t know what to do about Lummox. He has completely stopped talking to me. I guess this is the space I should be giving him, but I suppose I’m just not used to it. Not responding on IM when I say hello, not responding to emails that I send, not responding to text messages the I send...I’m not going to call him because I figure when he’s ready, he will call me or whatever. It just isn’t normal for him to just blatantly ignore me though. I guess Ill just back off completely until he calls.

What if he never calls?

How long should I give him? I suppose the answer to that would be- as long as he needs. Ok, I just answered that for myself. Sometimes I guess I talk myself out of my own worries, but it isn’t until I work it all out in my head that it really goes away. I guess I should hope for the worse, and if something happens, it was meant to be that way. I guess I just never expected Lummox to stop talking to me altogether. Last time I talked to him was on IM last Thursday, and it ended with him saying something that was just out of the blue hurtful. He apologized for it after I hung up on him, but I haven’t heard from him since.

He also erased all his blog entries...he did that around the same time he was interrogating my blog and myspace pages. I’m not sure what is up with that, but I guess I expected to see some new writing from him. Guess he’s not willing to show his real feelings to the whole world like I do, (even if I don’t personally know who is reading). Blogging has never really been his thing I guess. In some ways I think he only had a blog because I did, and only had a myspace page because I did. He never really worked on either of those things, they were just there. He’s always been a writer, he used to write even more than I do now, but he doesn’t write anymore. The only writing I have seen from him are fictional stories with characters resembling people in his life. I wonder if it’s because he doesn’t want to face reality. Oh well. I guess Ill never know.

On another note I finally watched The Valley of the Dolls this weekend. *sigh* I wish I had been a thirty something girl in the 60’s. Sharon Tate is fantastically glam, and Patty Duke is soooo over the top dramatic, I think that’s what makes it funny. I don’t know what my obsession is with this decade but looking back, it has always been a theme in my life. When I was young I listened to my parents Beatles albums on my record player instead of the radio most days. I was so in love with Paul McCartney when I was in third grade! But not the Paul McCartney of the 80’s, the Paul McCartney on the front of the record sleeves and in the black and white pictures I used to see in magazines. I remember gushing over him to one of my friends from school, and she goes “who is Paul McCartney?” When I went to college I started wearing my eyeliner a bit darker and thicker, I think they call it Doe Eyes, like the girls used to wear in the 60’s. I still wear my eyeliner like that, only now I add false eyelashes when I dress up. I’ve always been in love with old movies, and the stars that act in those movies; Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe are my all time favorites. I’ve always loved the music of the Rat Pack as well. Most nights, when I want to relax Ill pop in my Tony Bennet or Sinatra CD’s. I just love that era! I’d love to decorate my house in gold, white and light blue- retro furniture and lighting, but I know it would seem odd to anyone who came over. And secretly I have adopted some of the mannerisms of the girls in the movies, isn’t it just creamy, and what’s the big idea? I know...I’m weird. I just wish I was dainty and refined and glamorous like my grandmothers were.



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