Thursday, July 13, 2006

Choices and Changes

Choices and Changes

Okay, so before I can invite anyone into my life I need to take care of a few things. I need to take care of myself and learn how to be by myself comfortably before I can move forward I think. I have some issues sure, everyone does. But I think maybe some of my issues are getting in the way of living in the truest way that I can. I need to rebuild myself. Rugby Dude called it the tower of power, the pyramid of Jenni :)

First issue is to lose this weight. It has really changed my self esteem in a way that I do not like. I still feel pretty with clothes on, and I still feel like I am a sexy person...until I see myself naked. Ick!

It’s all trickle down. Because of my low self esteem- I don’t take care of myself like I should. I don’t get up early enough to work out because I don’t have the energy. I don’t have the energy because I don’t work out. I don’t fix my hair, or make myself look nice and presentable because I don’t give myself time in the morning because I am too lazy! I am not that person! I am a pretty girl; I should use my assets and make them work for me.

I have man problems because of my own decisions. I chose to be with the Dreamer for almost 7 years and let him walk all over me- I’m throwing him away for good. All he does is hold me back anyway. I’m letting go of the Lummox because he has let go of me. There’s no use holding onto the past anyway...those two are just keeping me down. Or let me rephrase that. I am allowing those two to keep me down and I will not allow that anymore. Moving on!

Insert big exhale here

Now. How and where do I start? How about 20 things...hmmm

1. Delete anything having to do with said men who are weighing me down. Purge thoughts and feelings about them for good.
2. Get big fat booty out of bed in the mornings and walk for an hour.
3. Shower in the mornings and fix hair and makeup nicely without having to rush.
4. Cut all fast food and junk food. Switch to water and diet coke.
5. Work on resume to achieve higher paying job
6. Sit ups and push ups when I get home from work or before bed.
7. Stop drinking so (I gotta have a glass of wine once in a while!)
8. Purge all negative thoughts and negative energy from my life.
9. Be a better person, a better friend, a better sister, a better daughter, a better single girl
10. Get out of the house and have some fun
11. Get GPS system and learn to not be afraid of driving and getting lost
12. Plant garden to tend to on the weekends
13. Start drawing and painting more
14. Start reading popular books at night so as to have some form of conversation with said new friends
15. Meet new people and gain friendships
16. Get back my “sparkle” (I don’t know where I lost it)
17. Get some sun!
18. Stop taking life so seriously
19. Breathe in and out every day and enjoy life.
20. Like myself more (I’m a great person!)

Okay...I think that is a good to begin a great weekend with my parents! Have a great one!



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