Thursday, July 06, 2006

Gone Fishing

Gone Fishing

Today was cute boy day at the grocery store.
And since I’m single and NOT looking,
what a better place to send off mixed messages! Yay!

I did my best at playing the part, since I have been studying up on How to Get the Guy- a great show by the way. On the first episode they teach you to make eye contact and smile, it’s very important. So instead of walking around with my head down and staring at the floor- I walked with my head up and eyes roaming. On the way in I met eyes with a very handsomely sporty guy and I had just enough time as I walked by to smile at him- he smiled back! Yay! I was off to a great start, and it was an experiment anyway.

I bought condoms today for the first time in FOREVER. You know, for just in case...just in case I run into someone who may need one, and then falls over on me repeatedly...with no clothes on. You know that sort of deal. You can never be too prepared. I think I learned that in Girl Scouts- Always be Prepared... (Or is that a Boy Scout thing?) Thanks to my Girl Scout leaders for that one...yeah-I’m sure they MEANT to say “Always remember to bring Condoms” in our 6th grade meetings.

So anyway, I made sure the box of Lifestyles Ultra Sensitive Lubricateds were in the very front of my cart as to attract any cute single men who might have been grocery shopping amongst the masses today. I used them as a sexual lure of sorts; does that make me a hooker? If I could have worn them around my neck with a flashing sign I would have. I got a lot of smiles from a few guys, and a few upturned noses from elderly ladies but they can just go and...Oh why don’t you just knit me a quilt old lady I need to get laid!

There was one particular guy I had my eye on and I followed him all the way through all the isles that us single people shop in- dairy, bread, and produce and got a couple of smiles out of him before I “accidentally” bumped him with my cart while I was eyeing the bananas. He giggled when I apologized and explained I lost my concentration, but he moved on. Coincidentally he ended up behind me in the check out isle! Wonderful I thought, but when I glanced at his hand- he was married. Damn. I had to throw him back.

I’ll try again next week; same day same time. Now I just have to think of new bait. I hear boobs work good...maybe Ill meet him next week in the melon isle...


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