Friday, July 21, 2006

Friday blabbering

Friday blabbering

Not a lot has happened since last I wrote. Tonight I’m heading up to Corsicana again for the garage sale at my grandparents old house. Last weekend I drove mom up and back so that we could mark all the sale items with colored stickers and organize and such. Let me just tell you, it was so hot I had to have lost at least 5 pounds in sweat alone. Last weekend the high was 103, but I am pretty sure inside that garage was about ten degrees hotter. This weekend should be cooler but I’m going prepared to sweat!

I plan on taking a bunch of pictures of the old house. I love that place. I remember it being so huge when I would visit as a child. The old red truck is still in my grandpas garage, and there used to be a swing hanging from the enormous trees in the back yard. I don’t remember going to the greenhouse much when I was little but its there behind the garage. I smashed some pennies on the railroad track last time I was there, just like Sarah and I used to do when we were children. Its still exciting to go looking for the pennies after the train has gone by. I remember once when I was about seven or eight we were visiting and I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and I got lost inside the house. I remember it being so big inside, with so many rooms; when I go back now it amazes me how tiny the house really is! There are a ton of interesting treasures and out of the ordinary things to take pictures of around the property, Id like to make an album about the house.

My grandfather used to be a brick layer in Corsicana for many years, and there are about a million bricks built in to the lay of the property. The yard is just so amazing, huge even now as an adult looking up into the enormous treetops the tower over the house like guardians; they make me feel small again. I hope my parents decide they like it there enough to stay for a couple more years. I will be so sad when that house’s a part of me and my history.

The railroad tracks directly across the yard, the bright red bricks, the sprawling lawns surrounding the old house, the old red Chevy truck in the garage, the ancient red bicycle inside the greenhouse, the grandfather clock that keeps us all awake in the night, the locust shells all over, the grape vines, all the junk in the garage, the garden I never knew was there...all of it has some meaning. It’s all a treasure for me to go back to. I will miss it.

On a lighter note, Rugby Dude bought me a plane ticket to fly to Denver next weekend! (Insert HUGE smile heeeeeeere) I am sooo super excited. I will only be in Denver for the night because then we will be driving back to Austin the next day or two. I know it sounds silly, but he said he wanted some more face time with me so that made me feel great. And then he bought me a plane ticket! I’m really excited to have some more catching up time with him. We talk almost every day now, mostly on IM and phone so it will be reallllly nice to see him face to face. I need some snuggling time too.

I sort of divulged my crush to him the other day- eeeeek! Well indirectly- he read it. I got a super nice email from him after he read it, although I’m still not really sure of what his feelings are. He has told me that he thinks of me often, and that is enough to keep my heart beat fluttering. I know it would be silly of me to think that anything serious may come of this, but I still have a little hope. So until then, I’m just floating day to day, I think of him all the time still, and that is enough to keep a smile on my face. I can’t wait for the road trip with him. Maybe Ill get some more answers out of him, although I will not pressure him, he does know how I feel so I guess the ball is in his court. We will see. And even if nothing comes of it, I can live with myself knowing that I put it out there. I’m definitely not going to be that girl anymore that sits around waiting for things to come to her. I figure if I’m truthful with my feelings right off the bat- no games will be played on either side.

Speaking of games- got a really nasty letter from Lummox the other day. I wasn’t going to talk about it, but I just want to get it out there that I am so very happy that I got out of that relationship when I did. That man has got a really nasty and ugly side to him that I am glad I won’t get a chance to know any further than I already have. He is one of those people who is abusive with his words and he gets off on it. I read his email and promptly told him to go to hell. That is the last I will hear of him hopefully. I don’t need people like him who are just out to hurt me to make themselves feel better. Oh and by the way, I got another email from a married friend Lummox and I once shared. She claimed that he came on to her a little after we broke up- what a fucktard. How tacky is that? What was I thinking that I could marry a guy like that? I’m glad to have purged him from my life for good. This is the last of the negative energy he has caused me, and although it feels good to get it out, I don’t plan on writing anything more about him.

I deleted all information dealing with and relating to both Lummox and the Dreamer. I took the Dreamer off my myspace friends list, and deleted both of their email addresses and emails from my accounts. I don’t need them hanging around my life anymore, they are useless to me now and only cause more drama in my life. Its jut too bad I wasted so much time on them.

Onward and Upward!


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