Happiness Revisited
8/8/2006
Happiness Revisited
I am falling for him all over again.
It’s hard not to, he is the epitome of what I love about being with someone. It is funny; I can be completely myself around him because he already knows I’m like this. It almost feels like I have been in a coma for the last nine years and I’m getting back into him just like I was before, but even more so; As if we just took a nine year break. I’m being very careful about it though. I guess I shouldn’t so much; it takes away from the experience. I just don’t want to screw anything up this time. He is the best thing that has happened to me in years, and I don’t want to lose him. Not again.
I am trying really hard to re-train my brain in the way I think about things. It’s really hard not to think about what my future holds, especially when I am with him. I can see forever in his eyes, but I don’t want to jump that far ahead just yet. It’s a “to be continued” story, I have to keep telling myself. I can’t jump ahead to the last page. I have to remember to take it day by day, and it is turning out to be a really spectacular thing. I don’t worry as much anymore, because life reshapes itself all the time.
You know, this might sound silly, but about a week before I found him on myspace I took one of those silly quizzes to waste some time. It was the “Which Sex and the City Vixen are you?” quiz. I am apparently most like Miranda according to the quiz. I guess it must be the redhead thing, that and the independent personality I think, however I don’t agree with most of it. This one was different though, it had a romantic prediction listed at the end. If you go to my myspace page I have it posted, but it reads “Romantic prediction: Someone from your past is waiting to reconnect...But you'll have to think of him differently, if you want things to work.” I keep looking back at that and thinking to myself...weird, because it’s true.
I am in this mindset that I’ve never experienced before- as far as relationships go. Normally I’m all about staking my claim but this time, I’m a lot freer with it. I truly think we are perfect for each other, and I know he feels the same way about me; but the timing is just not there for us to really truly be together right now. He has a lot going on in his life, he’s traveling, and he’s figuring out his job situation, he’s relocating in a few months; he just has a lot on his plate. But the weird thing is, I’m okay with just having fun with this and be casual about it for now. I’m happy just knowing he’s out there somewhere, and that he feels the same for me as I feel for him. Unless he tells me any different, I’m not worried about it at all, in any way shape or form. This is really unusual for me. Things will work themselves out in the end.
He’s coming to visit again this weekend. I can’t wait. After this weekend I won’t get a chance to see him again for a couple months probably because he will be going to Europe. Going to stock up on snuggles this time. It feels amazing to be around him. He makes me feel amazing no matter where he is in the world. I literally feel like I can breathe easier when I’m around him. The rest of the world could be spinning out of control around us, and we would never know. I like it like that.
Cheers!
Happiness Revisited
I am falling for him all over again.
It’s hard not to, he is the epitome of what I love about being with someone. It is funny; I can be completely myself around him because he already knows I’m like this. It almost feels like I have been in a coma for the last nine years and I’m getting back into him just like I was before, but even more so; As if we just took a nine year break. I’m being very careful about it though. I guess I shouldn’t so much; it takes away from the experience. I just don’t want to screw anything up this time. He is the best thing that has happened to me in years, and I don’t want to lose him. Not again.
I am trying really hard to re-train my brain in the way I think about things. It’s really hard not to think about what my future holds, especially when I am with him. I can see forever in his eyes, but I don’t want to jump that far ahead just yet. It’s a “to be continued” story, I have to keep telling myself. I can’t jump ahead to the last page. I have to remember to take it day by day, and it is turning out to be a really spectacular thing. I don’t worry as much anymore, because life reshapes itself all the time.
You know, this might sound silly, but about a week before I found him on myspace I took one of those silly quizzes to waste some time. It was the “Which Sex and the City Vixen are you?” quiz. I am apparently most like Miranda according to the quiz. I guess it must be the redhead thing, that and the independent personality I think, however I don’t agree with most of it. This one was different though, it had a romantic prediction listed at the end. If you go to my myspace page I have it posted, but it reads “Romantic prediction: Someone from your past is waiting to reconnect...But you'll have to think of him differently, if you want things to work.” I keep looking back at that and thinking to myself...weird, because it’s true.
I am in this mindset that I’ve never experienced before- as far as relationships go. Normally I’m all about staking my claim but this time, I’m a lot freer with it. I truly think we are perfect for each other, and I know he feels the same way about me; but the timing is just not there for us to really truly be together right now. He has a lot going on in his life, he’s traveling, and he’s figuring out his job situation, he’s relocating in a few months; he just has a lot on his plate. But the weird thing is, I’m okay with just having fun with this and be casual about it for now. I’m happy just knowing he’s out there somewhere, and that he feels the same for me as I feel for him. Unless he tells me any different, I’m not worried about it at all, in any way shape or form. This is really unusual for me. Things will work themselves out in the end.
He’s coming to visit again this weekend. I can’t wait. After this weekend I won’t get a chance to see him again for a couple months probably because he will be going to Europe. Going to stock up on snuggles this time. It feels amazing to be around him. He makes me feel amazing no matter where he is in the world. I literally feel like I can breathe easier when I’m around him. The rest of the world could be spinning out of control around us, and we would never know. I like it like that.
Cheers!
posted by Jenni at
8:48 PM
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