Talking to the man

Talking to the man…October 26, 2005


Got some bad news last night.
Mom called as I was making dinner. I knew something was wrong because right before she called I went and got my phone from my purse to see if she had called. Just as I put the phone down on the counter next to the oven it rang. Mom and I have this strange connection that way, its like that with Sarah too, must be in the family or something.
Big Daddy is not going to make it this time. I talked to Dad the day before and he had mentioned Big Daddy not being able to swallow any food without choking. Even on his nutrition shakes, he just doesnt have the strength anymore. He has been in a care facility for a few months now, because of a bout with pneumonia that left him too weak to walk anymore. He had been doing well in his physical therapy, but had some setbacks because of his diabetes, and his body is just shutting down because he isnt using his legs like he used to. Adema is a horrible thing, if you stop using a part of your body, it slowly starts to take over and Big Daddys adema is moving upwards from his waist. He cant swallow without choking mostly because his lungs are filling with fluid. I really feel awful for my Dad, the decisions he is going to have to make are horrible and heart wrenching. He is going to have to choose weather or not to put in a feeding tube. I think that Big D wouldnt want it like that. They mentioned moving him to a hospice today. I think these are his last days. I hate it that Dad has to be there to see it happen.
Mom mentioned that last time she talked to Dad on the phone he told her an interesting story. Bid D's physical therapist had come in to see Dad and talked to him for a while. She told him that just the day before while she was excercising Big D, he told her he had already "met with The Man" twice the night before, and each time he told Big Daddy he wasnt ready for him. The second time Big D argued with him, telliing him that it was his time and that he was ready, but "The Man" told him it wasnt his time yet. I think maybe he needed to wait so that my dad could get there to be with him. Big Daddy told my dad another story about a man who came to visit him the day before, a man he used to work with many years ago. Dad said that man has been dead for years and years. But Big Daddy swears he was there visiting him the day before.
Interesting, and exciting at the same time. I am not a firm believer in God, or heaven, but those stories give me a different perspective on things suddenly. I do believe in spirits, I believe that everyone is a basic energy, and after we leave our body when we die, that energy takes on different shapes. That could mean reincarnation into another body or form, or it could mean the energy stays in its pure form and remains a spirit forever. I would like to believe that after we die we go to a different place, an alternate universe if you will, and that could also mean an alternate plane overlapping the one we all live on now. I heard someone say once that on earth we are dead, it is only when our shell dies that we are born into life. Big Daddys meeting with "The Man" makes me wonder though, is there really a higher spirit up there somewhere? Or was that Big D's own personal set of Christian beliefs coming through? I guess I wont know, until it is my turn to meet with "The Man".
I love you Big Daddy.
(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

Pulling an Ever

Pulling an Ever…October 17, 2005


Another embarrassing moment brought to you by Jenni.

A few years ago, when I lived in Denver, the Lummox (my best friend) was dating a girl by the name of Ever Saskia (its spelled wrong on purpose). At first their relationship was good, but one day he recieved an email from her that he found quite snotty. We were both working at the same company and we shared everything with eachother, including stories about our personal lives, he was my best friend then too. So on that day he wanted to share the email from Ever Saskya that included comments from him that were meant to be only to me. I asked the Lummox today to refresh my memory on the email he sent and he said:
"well, i was bending over backwards to be the gentlemen the whole time when i first met her, she sent me an email that said something like she did not trust me. then i wrote this thing that i meant to just send to you, like can you believe this, women suck, i was never anything but nice, eff her"
But alas, he hit REPLY instead of SEND to Jenni....and the email went straight to Ever's inbox instead of mine. I heard the Lummox giggle loudly at his desk and when I inquired he told me the story, and he played it off well, but never again did he hear from Ever Saskia.

And from that day forth, when we do something that we never meant to do, but accidentally once you have done it you are relieved that it happened. Thus the term we have so lovingly added to our vocabulary, Pulling an Ever Saskia. It is now an inside joke between the Lummox and I that sadly, we end up using a lot!

Today, I pulled an Ever Saskia.

I was innocently stalking a guy I kinda like on MySpace.com...who knows maybe he is on there too? So I did a search for him using his email address. Well it came up with a page that I did not read at the time but it said "we could not locate your friend on myspace.com would you like to send him an invitation to join?" of course since I did not read this and the "invite" button looked just like the "submit" button on all the previous pages...I clicked it. Just when the page came up that read "thatguyilike@hisplaceofwork.com has been sent an invitation to join you at myspace.com"

OMG OMG OMG

I felt all the blood in my body rush to my face and my temperature rose enough to heat the office! I sent him an email straight from my myspace account!!! Now he will definitely know I have been STALKING HIM. Why do I do these things to myself? I hope I didnt ruin it. I hope he doesnt think Im stalking him even though I am....kind of. It all started so innocently! Ugh, Ill be back later, I have to go hide in the bathroom and throw up now.
(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

purple haze

Im feeling much bettah now.

Is it wierd that I cant really remember the last few days? I remember going home on Friday and getting into my jammies and laying on the couch. Then suddenly this morning I wake up and I have no idea what happened!!! Dang, that nyquil really is strong.

I looked around my house, theres snotty kleenex all over, I remember picking them all up and walking downstairs with them, I must have not made it to the trash can in the kitchen and just plopped them all down in a pile next to the couch. The couch now has all of my pillows and a big blanket on it. Apparently sometime this weekend I put together a jigsaw puzzle? I did laundry and folded it, its still in the basket upstairs on my bed. I dont remember doing any of this. There are dishes in the sink but I dont remember what I ate out of them. theres a tupperware container in Cody's dish, hopefully I fed him more than leftover meatloaf.

Then the flash backs begin. Oh my god, I talked to people on the phone! I talked to my sister, my mom and the Lummox all on Sunday night. I remember talking to the Lummox, but I dont remember what i said. Great, and I text messaged people. I sent a text to my ex that reads "I dont hate you anymore" oh my god. Does that count as drunk dialing? ugh.

I remember yesterday that I went to work, but all i really remember is that I had to call tech support because our email was down, and that I had no clue what I was talking about. I remember being on the phone with our controller and hearing him say "Jen...Jenni... are you still there? Then I realised I was at work and probably shouldnt be there so I called my boss to ask for a half day. I had to wait here until she got here at 1230 because tech support showed up, I forgot I had called them. I dont remember how I got to work, and I probably should not have been driving. I remember getting home and opening the sliding glass door for cody and feeding him leftovers...he was out of water, im such a bad mommy. Then i put on a nightgown...a nightgown? I didnt even know I owned a nightgown! Apparently I do, and it has winnie the pooh on it. It was an interesting sight in the bathroom mirror this morning.

Then I woke up at 430 AM this morning, and semi coherant took a shower and got back into bed, noticed my phone was dead so I charged it who knows how long it has been dead. When I woke up at 730 (with only half an hour to get to work mind you) there were messages, oh god...who called me back and who text messeged me? It was the Lummox, calling because he was worried about me- hee hee...I hope I was at least speaking english when I was talking to him. Who knows dude. Im just thankful to be out of the purple nyquil haze. And I feel GREAT!

Weekend getaway

Weekend getaway…October 4, 2005

This weekend my family and I had a little getaway at Lake Travis.
Now I need a vacation.
My family has some friends who own a lake house on Lake Travis in Austin and they were nice enough to give us the keys for the weekend! Now when you tell me I am staying at a lake house, I picture rustic cabin, no cable, lots of dust, and lanterns. I brought scrabble and playing cards, no need for that! This place was like a luxury vacation villa! All hardwood floors, flat screen tv, dvd player, huge deck, boat dock, stone patio with built in grill and hot tub! We had a blast. I am tired from all the fun, and the sun wore me out since I am never in it much.

Captain Dad


Yes, thats me in the back with the SPF 60 on. I was a miserable albino all weekend.

Coincedentally, last night on NBC one of their new shows is called Surface, and at the beginning there was a shot of Lake Travis and some people parasailing...into a huge whirlpool to their deaths. Who knew Lake Travis was so dangerous! Good thing we went before the sink hole sucked all the water out of the lake and the aliens decide to take over! Oh wait thats a different show...

On another note, my "aunt Flow" decided to finally show up yesterday. I havent seen "her" since August 11...needless to say I was freaking out. I have been really irregular since I moved here, but never that late. I went to the doc who told me it was nothing more than stress, or my body is just trying to get itself back into a regular cycle. He gave me Ortho Evra to get on track.
Great, thanks doc, birth control now that I am single again. How ironic.
So I am on day two of the Patch and Im feeling a little bit of its wrath. I have a fever, didnt sleep much last night, and Im completely nausious, not to mention the hormonal ups and downs of it all.
You must be THIS tall to ride Jenni's Emotional Rollercoaster.
I guess I will have to research the Patch to see what other lovely side dishes it has for me. Oh the joys of it all.
Toodles!
(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni